Sometimes I’m just not sure how stuff breaks, loosens or gets all wonky on its own.

Like a toilet seat.

I could understand maybe the hinges becoming worn over time, from lifting the lid…no…wait, I have three boys and a girl.

The lid never gets lifted.

No matter what.

Okay, but not the hinge mount—you know, the part that bolts to the bowl. How does that get loose?

For all I know the kids are using the toilet lid as a step stool or something.

Well, fix that loose toilet seat once and for all.

First, unbolt the seat, and clean everything. Oh, before you do that, put on some latex gloves. ‘Cause although you clean, you will find that it is still dirty and disgusting. I won’t go further into detail. You will understand. You. Will.

I took mine outside. Spray with bleach water solution. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Hose down. Dry. Bring back inside.

Shortest sentences ever.

Next, cut some rubber to fit the toilet seat mounting flange or pads. You can use almost any type of rubber—my grandfather use to save old bicycle inner tubes for stuff like this. I happened to have two 5”x5” sheets of rubber I purchased at a home center for an unrelated project. It worked perfectly.

A little snip snip and you've got a grippy bit of rubber to cure that loose toilet seat.

For some reason I recall someone using sandpaper to do the same thing we’re talking about here. That just doesn’t seem right to me. I’d stick with rubber.

Anyway, we’ve got the rubber cut to size, just shy of the flange dimensions, so when we bolt ‘er down, we don’t see the ugly red rubber (or black inner tube). So go ahead and make a little hole, cut an “X”  or use a hole punch for the bolts to go through.

The little square fits pretty nicely and will stay hidden below the mounting flange.

Center up the toilet seat and reinstall the nuts,—don’t overtighten—and this oughta keep that toilet seat from working itself into a wobbly hazard, and prevent you from ending up on the floor one day.

All done! The little rubber squares are out of sight, and the seat stays tight.

Now, take the time to thank us, tell us what you use instead of rubber, plug your new awesome-toilet-seat-that-doesn’t-come-loose product or tell us this post is so common sense “why did you waste my time?”. Happy flushing.