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(Last-Minute) Father’s Day Gift Guide 2014

All right ladies and kids, it’s time to cram. Father’s Day is looming and you’re running out of time.

But he said, “Oh, honey you don’t have to get me anything,.” Ha, we all know that’s  a load of BS. What’s worse is the wide open “I’m sure I’ll like anything you get me” trap. Don’t fall for it, get them something we suggest and be a hero.

(A couple of the links below are Amazon Affiliate links by which we get paid like .0002 cents if you buy something. If you don’t like that, you can not click them and just go search Amazon for the product name.)


A fire-resistant safe from SentrySafe

I’ve heard too many stories where families lose everything in a fire, and since dads love protecting the family there’s really no better gift than a safe. I believe in this product and I trust it with everything that’s important to me and my family. To be perfectly honest, I work with them, not in a “they pay me to promote their products on my website” kind of way, but I do work for them and know a LOT about the products. Trust me on this one.

Prices vary, but priceless really.
Any of these Fire Safes will do



If you want your man to smell like us, you need to run out immediately and pick up some VO5 Men’s 3-IN-1 Shampoo, Conditioner, and Body Wash. It’s as close to MetroSexual as we get. We’ll leave how you explain this gift up to you, but we will say don’t tell them it’s because you want them to smell like us. I prefer FRESH ENERGY scent, but that’s just because I’m fresh…fresh…fresh…for you…for you…for you.

Around $5

VO5 Men’s 3-in-1 on Amazon.

justadropJUST A DROP Bathroom Odor Eliminator

Hmmm, this is a handy little product if dad’s private time involves the bathroom as often as our private time does. I bought some on a whim after hearing about it somewhere, maybe on Howard Stern, because I don’t need the whole world knowing about my private time. Also, you need to keep the romance alive, and every little bit counts. I wouldn’t say it “eliminates” odors, but it masks them pretty well. Here honey, the gift of bathroom time.

2 bottles for $15.99

Just A Drop on Amazon

General Tools & Instruments Digital Temperature MeterDigital Infrared Thermometer

This is something he probably doesn’t need, but it sure is a cool gadget. You point, pull the trigger, and the readout tells you the temperature of stuff. I use it mostly to find hot or cold zones in the walls where I may need more insulation, or to check if a brake rotor is unusually hot when I smell burning brakes on the car, or I point it at meat on the grill for fun.

Price ranges from around $30 up to a ridiculous like $150 or something.

Product page on

R3_frontROKU 3

I love the Roku. It’s how I stream everything since I don’t have cable (I really tried to make that as non-douchey as possible, I promise I don’t not have cable because I don’t believe in TV or anything like that, in fact I believe in it very much, I’m a  TV addict, I freaking LOVE TV, it’s just that I like satellite and I need to remove some trees before I can get a satellite signal). I mostly use it for Netflix or Amazon Prime. I’m not going to explain what it does, but their site will.

Around $99

frotherA Milk Frother

I’ve had one of these for a long time. I wrote about it here. I don’t use it to “froth milk”, I use it to stir coffee. It’s basically the manliest coffee stirrer, second only to an oily pen from the pen cup at the gas station. Just don’t store it standing up or coffee will run down inside and gunk it up.

The frother pictured is from Williams-Sonoma and is like $20. I bet there are $10 versions at Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Blue Hawk X-Large Unisex Brown Multiple Material Insulated Winter GlovesBlue Hawk X-Large Unisex Brown Multiple Material Insulated Winter Gloves

I do a lot of yard work that involves prickers and thorns and machetes. That’s why I love wintery work gloves, they have the extra protection of a layer of insulation. Yes, your hands sweat more, but they also are less bloody after machete-ing down tons of throny brush and dragging it to the curb for the once-every-two-month town brush pickup.

Product page on


We hope this sparked a couple ideas for you. Especially the safe, I’m serious. Happy Father’s Day.

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