With four kids, we try to maintain a relationship with each child individually, and since the middle two are twins (and innocently referred to by friends and family as a single entity), this is especially important.

We’ve got some kind of cranial queue going on, keeping track of which one went with who, and where. Even menial errands are seen as important one-on-one time with a parent in their eyes.

So I take Thing #1 (the first twin), Frank, to the grocery store a while back to pick up a few things.

Walking down the canned vegetable aisle, Frank yells…”SpongeBob”, and I notice a can of beans…a national brand…with the little yellow character peeking out from the photo mask of the beans on the label.

Actually the yellow guy was kinda big on the label.

“Frank. You want some beans with dinner tonight?”

“YEAH!”

Done. He not only wanted to eat them. But hold the can through the store.

You see, there’s some tipping point, where your kids go from eating blended vegetables to wanting only snacks, candy, soda, crap. I don’t know where that point is, but my youngest is only one, so there’s hope for me to find out yet.

I have an idea as to why they stopped eating vegetables...

Oh, so…damn marketers. Wait. That’s me.

And that’s good.

Using my what-you-see-is-not-always-what-you-get ad skills, I started turning every can, box, bundle, bushel and steam in the bag vegetable container into brand synergistic wonder veggies.

And they ate.

Here’s what you need:

• Some stickers of cartoon characters or whatever—found in the dollar store or dollar aisle
• Something sharp to cut them if you really want seamless brand integration
• A vessel of your desired vegetable serving for dinner

Step One
Choose a sticker that appeals to your target demographic.

Step Two
Peel the sticker and apply to container of vegetables. You can get crafty here and cut the sticker with an x-acto knife or some scissors to follow a design trait of the container, masking the fact it was applied post-purchase. See? Seamless.

Step Three
Provide your focus group with two choices for dinner: “Princess Broccoli or Star Wars Asparagus”.

Step Four
Heat and serve.

Pirate Kitty Corn Anyone?

“But that’s a lot of stickers and stuff…” you say?

Ha. Bait and switch, my friend. Bait and switch. Advertising 101.

Show them the can, bag or bundle with the sticker, then actually cook the non-brand-ified version—just rotate your stock every once in a while.

So now I’ll try to see if it works on taking out the garbage.