It’s that time of year again. When you ask Dad what he’d like for Father’s Day repeatedly.

Here are our choices, all better than a tie, ranked from affordable and practical to “YOU WANT ME TO SPEND HOW MUCH ON WHAT?”

SCOSCHE MagicMount Universal Magnetic Phone/GPS Mount in Frustration Free Packaging

Call me late to the game. Call me Cramden. Call me, call me any, anytime. Call me.

Yes, call me a late-adopter that watched the Honeymooners with Blondie on in the background.

I use to rag on those people who needed their phone prominently displayed on those suction-cupped-thingies, clinging to the windshield, awaiting whatever status update they can’t live without. And you could see where they stuck it to the windshield like eight times cause they’d turn the corner and it would go flying off the glass like an $800 brick bouncing around the interior of their car.

But now I became one of them.

Well, not the status update thing. Or the bouncy-brick thing. But the mount-my-phone-in-the-car thing.

The MagicMount from Scosche (pronounced “sko-shh”) was the only mount that checked a bunch of boxes for me:

• The mount not flying off when I make a turn
• Actually holds the phone
• Ease of attaching phone to holder
• Holding up to the heat in Florida
• Outlasting one model of phone

And, at $13, you can get one for each car, or your desk or whatever.

About $13

Nixon Time Teller Watch

Dad will love this watch. And since you probably can’t buy him a car, this is a close second to a 1983 Porsche 911 Targa or a Delorean. I have the stainless steel band, but it’s also available in a variety of colorful leather or canvas bands. He might wear it every day, he might save it for special date nights with mom. It’s a hefty, shiny, great piece of dad-jewelry. And unless you’ve recently seen dad sitting on the couch with a bag of frozen peas in his lap that date night with mom might lead to another little brother or sister.

Around $99 and comes in a bunch of colors/configurations or even customizable.

Duluth Trading Company Fire Hose Work Pants

Does your Dad work out in the yard A LOT? He probably goes through pairs of jeans like crazy. He’s kneeling, stretching, lifting things, being manly. That’s why Fire Hose Work Pants are a great gift.

He’s not in the back yard for a fashion show, and if he is he’s probably hiring someone to come get that stump out instead of getting out his reciprocating saw and shovel and tacking care of business himself.

Trust us, they’re awesome, but here are some feature you probably don’t care about:

• Made of Fire Hose cotton canvas – the fabric that once wrapped fire hoses
• FendOff™ fabric treatment repels stains and water
• Comfortable Crouch Gusset® lets you bend and crouch
• Mid-leg and back pockets with exclusive tuckable capability
• Deep 8-oz. Fire Hose pocket bags resist punctures from tools

He’s sick of ties and if you don’t want to get him work pants, Duluth has a lot of ideas for you, even underpants, which is always a funny gift.

18-Volt ONE+ 18-Gauge Cordless Brad Nailer

There’s nothing like the right tool for the job. Or inspiration for the job. You know that baseboard in the hallway? It’s been that way for about a year, right? Maybe the honey-do list isn’t enough. Think of this as a $99-string-around-the-finger to simply end that year-and-five-minute-long project of reattaching the baseboard.

Hit Dad’s gift on the head this year. Perfect for Dads named Brad. A Pneu Tool. Cut the cord on crappy dad gifts.

Nail Dad Down.

Okay, enough punny-subheads. Here’s the facts: there might be a little gnome on board who is allergic to brads, so every time he sneezes, it shoots a nail. Or the Ryobi ONE+ system battery charges an integrated compressor that shoots the nail. I don’t know. It’ll fire 1,700 5/8”- to 2”-long 18 ga. brads on single battery charge and has plenty of adjustment for nail depth and air pressure. And once inspired to use this tool, I bet you’ll find all kinds of stuff getting “fixed,” whether needed or not.

From $99 (tool only)

Check a Thread Bolt and Nut Gauges

Someone, somewhere said “buy the best tool you can afford.” Which is a line I tell my wife every time I buy a tool, right after I say “you need the right tool for the job.” Soon after, she adopted both sayings when it came to buying stuff for her hobbies.

Complete backfire. (And sewing machines are expensive.)

Anyway, if you want the very best nut and bolt gauge you can buy, here’s one for about $85.

“$85 to find out what size nut I need to buy…” you ask?

Yes, but choose from two scenarios here:

1. Dad has sooo many tools, I’m not sure what he really even needs anymore
2. Spend money to save money

If you answered A, skip to the end of this section and just buy the gauges using the link.

If you answered B, allow me to elaborate:

Here’s a typical Saturday morning for the average DIY Dad.

“I need a bolt.”

1. Notify significant other: “Hon, I’m running to (insert hardware store name here).”
2. Drive to store.
3. Get out of car.
4. Enter store.
5. Find the nut and bolt gauge in the fastener aisle.
6. Reach in pocket and realize you left the bolt at home.
7. Exit store.
8. Drive home.
9. Get the bolt.
10. Notify significant other: “Hon, I forgot the bolt, I’m going back.”
11. Drive back to store.
12. Find the nut and bolt gauge in the fastener aisle.
13. Test your bolt to find out what thread pitch you have. Aww crap:
    1. Proclaim “Dammit” aloud. I think it’s this one, but the threads are stripped in the store’s bolt gauge
    2. Proclaim “Dammit” aloud. I think it’s this one, but the insert is completely missing in the store’s bolt gauge
    3. Proclaim “Dammit” aloud. Oh, it’s SAE fine thread and this store doesn’t have it

Then you:

1. Try and thread your bolt into any nut that’s in one of those little plastic-bagged-individual-nut-where-they sell-them-in-odd-numbers-so-you-have-to-buy-two-bags ($)
2. Guess and buy a bunch of bolts hoping one will work ($$)
3. Go to another store (potentially $$$)

A 10-minute trip to the store turns Saturday morning into Saturday…day.

So just buy this thread gauge. The time and gas he’ll save in a year will pay for this thing two-fold. And Dad will look like a stud when he states he needs an “M5x35 slotted mushroom truss screw” instead of “something metric…I think.”

About $85

Gretsch G5420T Electromatic Hollowbody Guitar

In second grade I started taking guitar lessons. We moved after the school year and it was too far to drive to continue my lessons. Ever since, I dreamed of “pickin’ ‘n’ grinnin’” like Roy Clark.

Except banjo.

He played mostly banjo. But he did have a mail-order guitar method my Grandfather got me. It had little stickers you put on the frets that were color-coded in order to follow along with the book where Roy would undoubtedly teach an 8-year old how to play guitar flawlessly.

Well, it didn’t work. But not ol’ Roy’s fault. Well, kinda. The little stickers would come unstuck when you played and then, well…I did what any 8-year-old would do:

Lose interest.

UNTIL I SAW THIS SPARKLY FAIRLANE BLUE GRETSCH ELECTROMATIC ON THE WALL AT THE MUSIC STORE SOME 40 YEARS LATER.

And no, it’s not a $3500 Gretsch. It’s like $799. I’m not saying that $799 isn’t a lot of money, but if I lose interest again, I won’t feel bad cause just looking at it is worth $799 to me. Hang it on the wall of the…errr…man cave. Turn it up to 11. Lip sync to the Stray Cats. I don’t care. Just being in the presence of this thing negates anything uncool. Got a bad dad joke? Tell it while this is around your neck and you’ll still be the coolest, even if you can’t play like Cousin Harley. Oh and it comes in Orange or Aspen Green too.

$799