I make my daughter’s birthday cakes by hand. They’re not professional level, and neither of us care (at least she doesn’t yet). They’re usually a little crooked, slanted, and never perfect, but nothing this bad… the My Little Pony Rainbow Dash Birthday Cake Fail.

OK, so I KNOW I can go to the grocery store and pick a cake out of a book but what fun is that. If you go for the crappy airbrushed cake with plastic crap poked into it you’re lazy. And if you tell me some crap like “I don’t know how to make a cake” then you’re a wuss. If you can go to a driving range and work on your crappy golf swing for hours at a time then you can spend 30 minutes with a box of cake mix and make a cake. Learn something new, man.

I’ve had home made birthday cake successes. Take my Wubbzy cake for example. Or even the Pachycephalosaurus Cake. She LOVED that one. Not my best work but it was good for being done at like 3am.

The rainbow Pachycephalosaurus cake.

 

BUT, being a DIY guy I know that not everything can be a homerun, I make mistakes, I’m not Bob Vila (well this is a cake, so I should reference Duff.)

It started out fine. Two round cakes glued together with pink frosting. I used to just go with the 13×9 cake pan but I’ve grown to love the extra character a round cake has, thanks to Emily.

Two round cake halves glued together with frosting.

 

I had my picture of Rainbow Dash all ready to reference. I got the light blue base down ok.

Rainbow Dash Base

 

Then things started to go wrong, it was still OK, but I wasn’t feeling it. I was getting sloppy.

Rainbow Dash tail and mane

 

The colors helped a little bit. The rainbows may distract the eye from the imperfections.

Something's not right with Rainbow Dash

 

OK, It’s not TOO bad. Here’s when the mind starts to race. Will she care? No. Will she notice? Doubt it, she draws stick figures. Do I care? Kinda. Will anyone but us see it? Not really. She just loves Rainbow Dash and it’ll be cut up in 10 seconds so who cares… Nah, look at that. Look at the giant elephant legs and the dumb-looking wings. It’s off-center. The mouth looks like Dr. Zoidberg. The face looks like Dali sliced up an eyeball.

Not happy with this.

 

So I destroyed the whole thing and scraped off Rainbow Dash.

Scrape it all off

 

That’s that. I felt lame and it was too late to do anything else good so I went with the good old favorite color purple “J” with some flowers on it.

Well it's no Wubbzy but she liked it.

 

Did she care AT ALL? No. She didn’t even want a piece anyway. She doesn’t really like cake.

I may as well have put candles on a painted cardboard box. She still gave me a big hug and a kiss and told me she loved me.

BUT would she have loved me MORE if I could have busted out a flawless Rainbow Dash cake?

Thanks for coming.

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