In case Alton Brown, or Rachel Ray, or Jaime Oliver haven’t burned it into your head yet, here’s a news flash, kids love to cook. Really they just love to make a mess and sprinkle flour around, eat raw dough, and stir things for about 3 seconds, but THEY think it’s cooking. And in some cases, simple stuff like breakfast foods, they actually ARE cooking.

Ok, ok, first let’s get it out of the way, you’re a real man, you love sports and manly things, and high-fiving your bros, and all that. But are you man enough to make some cinnamon rolls with your daughter on a saturday morning with no directions, barely enough ingredients, and no recipe using dough from Friday night pizza night?

Follow these steps, let your wife sleep in for once, and be a real man and make breakfast with your kids.

Step 1: Buy pre-made dough and some sauce and cheese and declare FAMILY PIZZA NIGHT on Friday night.

Yes you can enjoy pizza night along with a couple SoCo Manhattans or some wine for your lady.

Step 2: On Saturday morning tell your kids you’re going to surprise (mommy, girlfriend, grandma, etc) with some super secret breakfast.

Kids also enjoy surprises.

Step 3: Roll out the dough.

Roll out last night's pizza dough.If you had the dough in the fridge all night you probably should have gotten up 2 hours before and set it on the counter to warm up. If you forgot, like I did, you can stick it on an heating vent or something. It’ll get a little hard and bloat all up but you shouldn’t have forgotten to let it warm up. Anyway, let the kids roll it out to 16inch pizza size.

Step 4: Spread butter or margarine (something that comes in a tub) around on the dough.

Spread butter on the dough.Something soft works best, that’s why I suggest a tub of butter-like substance. If you got up to let the dough warm up on the counter you could also get a stick of your wife’s, girlfriend’s, grandma’s butter out and let that soften on the counter as well. I THINK you’re supposed to leave the last inch or 2 unbuttered so it’ll stick together later when you roll it up. You’ll see what I mean down in step 10. The rolls might start to unroll.

Step 5: Sprinkle sugar around all over the butter.

Sprinkle sugar on the dough>I’m not  sure there’s a lot more to say about this step except, guess what, your kid is going to make a mess with the sugar getting it all over. Just let it go for now.

Step 6: Sprinkle cinnamon around

Sprinkle cInnamon on the dough.Not TOO much, not too little, just enough. This will have to be your moment of Zen when you FEEL it’s enough.

Step 7: Roll up the dough.

Roll up your cinnamon rolls.The rolling it up is what makes it a cinnamon roll, get it? Roll it up tight and at the last part that probably shouldn’t have been buttered should stick to the backside to hold it all together.

Step 8: Chop up the roll and put on a cookie sheet

Chop them up.I sprayed the cookie sheet with some spray, butter-flavored probably, maybe canola, doesn’t matter, just don’t use olive oil, blech.

Step 9: Make frosting.

Make frosting with powdered sugar and milk.For some reason I remember that you can just make frosting with powdered sugar and milk. Start with putting sugar in a bowl and adding tiny bits of milk until it’s something that can be drizzled.

Step 10: Cook them for like 15 minutes on 325 or 350.

15 minutes on 350?I’m not sure of the temperature, but I pretty much think everything usually bakes at like 350 right? Isn’t that always on cookie or brownie directions? See how mine kinda opened up? I think that’s why you don’t butter the whole thing, the last bit probably would’ve stuck together if it wasn’t buttered.

Step 11: Drizzle and eat.

Drizzle and eat.Mmmmm. Almost all home made. If you knew how to make dough it would be really impressive. I don’t know how even though I hear it’s simple.

Maybe now it’s time to learn how to make my own dough.

Thanks for coming.

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