Father’s Day is almost here and I’m being asked if there’s anything I’d like…

And I ALWAYS want the hand made cards, drawings, popsicle-stick things and anything my kids make me.

Always.

But I can never remember if there’s a gift or something that I really want from a store.

Like when you went into Waxtree or Murmur records (or insert your own local 80s record shop) and suddenly forgot every album you just had to have.

Album. Huh?

Oh yeah, it’s the iTunes store now. Well, you get it.

Here’s a list of ideas for Father’s Day gifts:

Instrumentation of Structure Modification

(Tools)

CHANNELLOCK GS-3S Gift Set

CHANNELLOCK GS-3S Gift Set

Okay this is like foundation, “Toolbox 101”-stuff right here. If you don’t have a set of CHANNELLOCK pliers in your box, then I seriously question your manliness. This set offers three sizes of tongue and groove pliers and a bonus 6 ‘n 1 screwdriver. Do some plumbing, pick a hot piece of iron out of the fire or pull some wisdom teeth—these are the original and get the job done. The pliers are made in the U.S.A., they’re easy to find in your box with the signature blue grips and for under $50 you’ll be handing them down to your kids one day.

Cost: $48.96

Get a grip on this gift from CHANNELLOCK.

Black & Decker 36V Cordless String Trimmer

Black and Decker 36V Cordless String Trimmer

Hey, it’s summer right? Grass growing. Yard work.

Get Dad a new cordless string trimmer.

It’s okay. Believe me. Getting him this is not at all like getting Mom a vacuum on Mother’s Day.

It’s a tool.

The worst case is that he might open this and mutter something about “cordless…blah, blah, blah…my gas engine trimmer…blah, blah”.

I know. I know. Honestly, I wouldn’t even have considered this over a gas trimmer.

Until I tried it.

I think gas engines have their place, but this 36V cordless string trimmer from Black and Decker has plenty of power to destroy some thick-ass weeds. It’s light, balanced, and the length is adjustable for taller Dads. Plus, he won’t have to slam the bump spool on the ground to get some more line…because it’s all automatic. And the battery only takes an hour to charge.

And, he’ll thank you every time that he doesn’t have to plug in the extension cord, or buy gas or mix in oil for that old, crappy trimmer he has now. Or when the gas engine doesn’t start. And he thinks he can fix it, so he takes it apart and doesn’t really know what he’s doing, so it sits there.

While weeds take over the driveway and planting beds.

Just sell the gas one on craigslist and get this trimmer. I did.

Cost: $170

Trim down the gift list with this one.

Intelligent Labor-saving Mechanisms

(Gadgets / Tech)

iZON Remote Room Monitor

iZON Remote Room Monitor

I first used this camera to threaten my children.

Yes. Threaten.

I was finding all kinds of food wrappers, and well…food, under the cushions of my sofa. We don’t allow food anywhere but the kitchen table in our home, and a stern “talking to” didn’t seem to work.

“Guess what kids? See this. It’s a camera. And see my phone? It shows me what’s on the camera.”

They give the oh-crap-we’re-busted-now-look to each other.

“So when I’m at work, I can look on my phone and see who’s eating on the sofa, and shoving wrappers under the cushions…”

Food-wrapper-under-the-cushion-situation resolved.

The iZon camera plugs in to an outlet, hooks up to your wi-fi and will stream audio and video to the Stem:Connect App on your iOS device. There’s about a 10-15 second delay, and requires that your iOS device has joined a network, but the gratification of busting the crumb bum is priceless.

Cost: $129

I spy something dad wants. The iZON.

Genie Garage Door Opener

Genie Garage Door Opener

A garage door opener?

Hear me out. It’s one of those things that either comes with the house, or you replace when it breaks. But I learned that Genie really, really improved the garage door opener, and when you think of it that way, you are upgrading…

I know this sounds like a sales pitch, but I do a lot of research before I buy anything.

There’s some serious “gadgetry” going on with Genie. Try a 140 Volt DC motor. That means plenty of power, it’s quiet, and it’s really fast—no more burning through a ¼ tank of gas, waiting for the garage to open.

They’ve changed the way the safety beams align, made them quieter, provided a means to upgrade features in the future, and even changed the positioning of the lights—so you can actually see in the garage, instead of the bulbs shining on top of the open garage door.

And absolutely…the best feature…on the planet…of any garage door opener, is the Genie Closed Confirm™ remote. The remote flashes green if the door closes properly. It flashes Red and produces a warning tone if there was a problem. No more circling back due to the “did it close?” paranoia.

Cost: About $120 – $240

Look, anything for the garage is always good for dad.

Exoskeletal Frame Drapery

(Clothing)

Dockers Pants

Dockers Pants

Well if you haven’t seen our Man-up Mondays, then I’m sorry for you. You could have won a full-blown Dockers® outfit. But that doesn’t have to stop you from getting dad some Dockers. Let him Wear the Pants.

Now here’s some honesty: As an “ad guy” my perception of Dockers was the popped-collar 80s khakis that I had to wear to homecoming in 1986. Now as “Marty”, khakis just weren’t in my vocabulary.

Well suck it khaki stereotypes, ’cause Dockers are not your Father’s khakis, dear Dad. Some of them are still khaki, but there’s pair after pair that aren’t pleated-in-plain-tan and that’ll handle the best of your work, weekend or golf duties—and you won’t look like the wealthy antagonist from the right side of the tracks in a John Hughes film from 1987.

I swear I could write analogies all day.

Cost: $30-85 (Use the exclusive Dadand code: DOCKERSMANUP to save 30% at Dockers.com)

Tell him to Wear the Pants.

Keith Weesner T-Shirts

Weesner Shirts

Let’s face it, with every “fashion designer” ripping off car, motorcycle and tattoo culture these days, it’s made the stuff I really “like”, really “mainstream.”

So, if you want dad to be hip, then point him in the right direction before the mall sells him some afflicted-rhinestone-encrusted-inked-up-trucker-hat-of-a-t-shirt.

That would just give everyone douchebumps.

I was struck by Keith Weesner’s artwork a few years back. The man knows cars and how to pull a line. And so I bought one of his t-shirts. Original and true. Lots of people ask about that shirt, so here they are.

Cost: $20 or $22 if dad is “husky”.

Make his day with some high-contrast low brow.

Essential Caloric Gastronomy

(Food)

A BLT

BLT

If there was a way you could give a BLT for Father’s Day, then the list, my friends, ends right here.

Like BLT.com or the BLT Store. Not a gift card, but a real BLT, right then. Million Dollar idea. Instant BLT.

Okay, so…yes. I know you can make me a BLT, or we can go out to eat. But here’s why…a BLT…on Father’s Day.

First off…Bacon. Once again, I could end it right there.

But Bacon with Lettuce and Tomato and some Mayo on white toast.

Aww yeah.

My kids love bacon too. So I could share that lunch with them.

Meaning, I’d share the experience of having lunch with them on Father’s Day, but I wouldn’t share the sandwich.

The BLT.

You know, I have fond memories associated with BLTs over the years.

I remember Pete’s dad sending us to the lunch counter across from his service station to pick him up a BLT. It was straightforward. A man’s lunch. And I looked up to Pete’s dad.

The BLTs my Grandfather made me with “Jersey Tomatoes.” Thick cut and every bit awesome.

I know every place in downtown Orlando that serves a good BLT. And which ones use too much “L”, don’t cook the bacon crispy enough or screw them up by trying to make them into a wrap or on a croissant.

Never on a croissant.

And always with real bacon.

And don’t aïoli up my mayo and crap.

They are simple. No frills. You don’t need chips or a pickle with it.

Just a BLT.

Cost: Like $5 if you go to a good lunch counter that only accepts cash.

Orlando Dads go here.

Rochester Dads go here.

Disclosure: Dadand got some of the stuff on this list for free, but you know that cause you are a loyal reader and we’ve done this before. But that doesn’t mean we don’t believe in the product or brand, and much of this stuff we either already bought on our own, or would have paid full-boat retail for it.

Thanks for coming.

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