We’re not trying to turn this into some kind of cooking blog, but DAMN I make some good egg sandwiches. They’re made in one pan, they take a few minutes, they are super low-calorie, and they’re damn good. You can get up in the AM and make these for you and your significant other in a few minutes and be a hero, she or he will spend all day talking about how sweet you are for making them breakfast.

Here’s what you need.

  • 12-inch skillet
  • 3 eggs
  • cooking spray
  • spatula (duh)
  • salt, pepper, taco seasoning or Caribbean jerk seasoning (optional)
  • 2 slices of bread
  • block of cheddar (or whatever cheese)
  • knife
  • plate

Get your pan ready.

Spray some kind of cooking spray on your 12-inch skillet and get it to med-high hotness.

This is all going to happen very fast.
Eggs don’t take long to cook.

Put the eggs in.

I’m going to assume you know how to separate egg whites from the yolks. you don’t need special sifters or utensils or tools, just crack the egg (on a flat counter, not on the edge of a pan, that’s how you get shells in there) carefully split it into two halves and then just kinda pour the yolk back and forth from shell to shell and let the egg white dump into the pan. Do 3 of them quick into the hot pan (don’t put them in a bowl or something, you’re just going to have to wash it). If you get some yolk in there who cares, you’re not a super model, a little yolk won’t kill you.

Taco egg whites

3 egg whites in the hot pan

Choose your seasoning.

You don’t need jerk seasoning or taco seasoning, you can always go plain with just salt and pepper, wuss. Here’s what I have in my cabinet, giant-sized things of each. You can see I am partial to the Caribbean, but for this post I used taco, I was making them for merrypad.com.

Taco egg seasoning

Two gigantic seasoning containers

Put your toast in the pan.

OK, technically it’s not “toast” yet, it’s bread that WILL be toast. I always use light wheat bread. Don’t bother with a toaster, it’s another appliance to mess with. Just cozy your eggs over to one side and make room for 2 slices of bread. Don’t forget to flip your bread at some point.

Taco eggs and toast in one pan

Put the toast right in the pan, don't bother with a toaster.

I hanker for a hunk’a, a slab, a slice, a chunk’a.

Put your cheese on. I use cheddar. You can use whatever you have. If you have a block just slice it right onto the eggs. Don’t grate it or else you’ll just have to clean the grater, and that’s a pain. Plus, this is a good chance to slice open your finger and get breakfast-cooking points AND sympathy I-cut-my-finger-making-you-breakfast points. Plus, you’re a dude, you should be good working with knives.

Taco eggs and slicing cheese

Cheese gets sliced on the eggs, not grated (I hate washing graters).

You don’t need to flip the eggs.

These eggs are spread out thin enough that they’ll pretty much cook through without flipping them. If you have a creme brulee torch lying around, WHICH YOU SHOULD by the way, you can always use that to cook up the slimy, runny, unfinished part (If you don’t have one you can grab your hand-held propane torch from the workshop). It also helps melt the cheese a bit, and you can also brown the toast a little more if you feel like it.

Taco eggs final melt with the creme brulee torch

Taco eggs final melt with the creme brulee torch

You’re there

Now just use your spatula to hack them into 2 semi-equal parts, kinda fold them into bread-sized pieces, and put them on the bread.

Taco eggs sliced with spatula and ready to go

Taco eggs sliced with spatula and ready to go

Finishing touches.

Now’s when you add the final touch. You can go with them just the way they are, or if you want to (damn I hate this phrase) kick it up a notch, go with some TABASCO® Green Jalapeño sauce OR Frank’s® RedHot® is good for a milder heat and a little more flavor.

Taco eggs and TABASCO® Green Jalapeño sauce
Taco eggs and TABASCO® Green Jalapeño sauce. Frank’s® RedHot® is good for a milder heat.

Clean up.

Think about it. This is the easiest part. You’re washing 3 things. You’re running some water over a pan (after it cools a few minutes, don’t warp that nice pan) and scrubbing it for a split second and cleaning a spatula and a knife  (and hell, the knife you can just lick it clean and wipe on your pants).

You’re a hero.

You just made your girlfriend, or boyfriend, a nice little breakfast treat. And if you want to get even more fancy, instead of jerk or taco, go with fresh chopped basil and forget the Tabasco altogether.

I’m no chef, how could these have been better? Have any suggestions? Leave a comment below.

Thanks for coming.

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